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let’s talk about death

Once in a while it could be very good to talk about death. Death? -you say Yes, why not? -I say. The news in all its forms never stops reminding us of it, and so perhaps it’s a good idea to give it some consideration, and not ignore that it’s a part of life. The world provides us with many fears, and, one step at a time, we need to take hold of them and get comfortable with them. Otherwise we can’t enjoy life and live freely. Fanklin D. Roosevelt said, “Often when you are alone suddenly fears seek you out and hunt for a place in your mind.” Maybe hunting it down before it does us would be easier.

Since ancient times sages and saints have tried to tell us that we’re on a journey, that there really is no death, that so-called death is a mere shedding of our physical body, and that our memories, thoughts, experiences, talents, etc. are ours to take as we depart planet earth for our next destination. We prepare for important occasions, and one would think that death is one of those occasions.

Michele Livingston answered a question which was published in the September/October 2011 of Wisdom magazine under the heading Divine Wisdom. The question was:

“My son Danny died two years ago from cancer. He was my only son and I’m crushed. So much so, that I quit my job and rarely leave my house. The times that I do leave, I go to the cemetery and sit beside his grave, crying and asking why – pleading with him to return. Where is he? How can I heal? I really need closure. . . .”

I think that the answer is complete and compassionate, and that we can all gain by reading it whether we’re grieving for someone or not. I hope you think so, too. It can be read on the Wisdom website:
www.wisdom-magazine.com
www.michelelivingston.com

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9/11

I want to write something specifically pertaining to 9/11 but I can’t, there’s too much to say about that day and all the days after. To choose one part of it is not possible for me. When I see pictures, read and listen to stories told about that day and all the days after about the victims, of children waiting for a parent, of spouses, family members, friends of victims not knowing what to do with the news they just heard, stories of the people who survived, stories of all the heroes who assisted, and then the hostility, and the healings, my thinking comes to an abrupt stop and tears well up. We all have our own way of handling what happened on that horrifying day. It’s as if the world lived through a war that was speeded up to take place in just one day, a war watched by many throughout the world with minds and eyes and ears and hearts not quite able to comprehend any of it because it was an act that went far, far beyond anything any of us could have ever imagined.

Today we can pray for the people who died on that day, and for the people whose body, or mind, or spirit wants to heal. And we can always pray for peace.

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asbury park


Asbury Ocean Beach Inn is a B&B in Asbury Park. It’s close to the beach and a hop, skip, and jump into town. There’s a lot to savor at this charming place, and I bet it would be difficult to find a better one. Betsy and Chip are the owners and they have a magic touch.www.asburyoceanbeachinn.com

While a few family members – Anna and Norm, Alicia and Michael, David and Erik, Christopher – were busy moving from here to there, we – Sumi, Toshi, Emi, Charlie, Sophie, and I – were busy thinking about vacationing in Asbury Park. The vacation proved that we don’t have to take a plane to a faraway destination to enjoy a perfect vacation. What’s needed is a person willing to spend time finding a perfect B&B close to a wonderful beach (that would be Sumi) having owners who enjoy what they do, and another someone willing to drive a car packed with too many things (that would be Toshi), and you need informal food establishments whose owners know how to use fresh ingredients, and fun to browse small shops, a pub with chock-full-of-life written all over it, a small unusual museum, perhaps a yoga expert, an ice cream place where people willingly line up in anticipation for a scoop, or two, or more (that would be Emi, Sophie and I), a porch having comfortable sofas and chairs with an abundance of flowers and plants calling to every guest, a town that allows bicycling without obstacles, gorgeous views of nature, a boardwalk with character for strolling, and then voila, suddenly you’re experiencing a perfect vacation.

Asbury Park is progressing in a way that suits beach life – the right people eventually discover it, and without a doubt know that that’s where they want to be, and they open a business that serves them, their customers, and the town well. Or the right people find their dream house, and settle into life close to the beach finally able to touch their feet to the sand any time they please and, at the same time, witness incredible views of the sky and ocean.

In the book OFF SEASON author Ken McAlpine wrote this about Bruce Springsteen: “… and occasionally still is, the stomping grounds of the Boss. Bruce Springsteen lived in Asbury Park. He used what he inhaled there-the boardwalk, Madam Marie’s, every beach town’s drifters and dreamers-to touch his first tentative fingers to the pulse of life at the Jersey shore and, given man’s common desires, beyond. He rocked Asbury’s honky-tonk bars until the audience collapsed. His first album was given the only title that made sense: Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J. The songs on it were written in the back of a closed beauty salon, the floor below Springsteen’s apartment in Asbury Park.” I heard that he entertains in Asbury Park five or six times a year.
www.brucespringsteen.net

Ocean Grove is Asbury Park’s next door neighbor, and it has a very different personality. They truly complement each other although they are as different as night and day, and to have easy access to both towns is frosting on a scrumptious cake. So when Paul Anka came to sing the week before hurricane Irene’s visit, we eagerly walked over to Ocean Grove and happily listened as he belted out all his popular songs.
www.paulanka.com

Every day Toshi and nine-month old Charlie left the coziness of the B&B in the very early hours of the morning; Toshi said it was a special time to be out. We – Sumi, Emi, and I – accepted his word. All the early birds can add the loveliness of very early morning walks to the wonderful list of beach pleasures.

Fall and winter are around the corner, and I’m thinking that a trip to Asbury Park for a long walk on the beach, and then perhaps sitting on the Asbury Ocean Beach Inn’s porch having a glass of Prosecco while choosing where to have dinner from the many restaurants available, on the boardwalk or in town, would nicely break up winter’s long months. Oh, indeed!

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trains

On a very HOT and HUMID 99 degree day last month the train I was scheduled to take was 90 minutes late. The three Amtrak employees at the counter couldn’t agree on the reason it was late or exactly when it was coming. Okay.

And so the train came and we ticket holders lined up and followed a uniformed person to a particular car where a conductor waited to give us our assigned seat number. After everyone was settled in, I realized it was COLD! in the train. I looked at the the woman across from me bundled in a blanket, and noticed that other passengers were wearing hooded sweatshirts. When the conductor passed by again I asked the reason for such a COLD train. She said it was frigid (that word didn’t help any) because there’s a flaw in the design, the thermometer was put outside the train. Okay.

Then she announced the reason for the train’s lateness. She said it had to move very slowly coming from Florida because when it’s an extremely hot day, a fire could start on the tracks. We’ll continue at a slow pace, she said. Okay.

I brought no lunch, so I went to the snack bar car hoping that the food had improved since the last time I ordered food on an Amtrak train. There was a limited sandwich selection, I chose the one that might have possibilities. The woman behind the counter said because of customer complaints she put all those sandwiches away. Okay.

The snack bar car was full, maybe because it was warmer there than anywhere else (warmer, not warm). Finally I returned to the COLD car. When the conductor passed I asked whether there was any place on the train warmer than the car we’re in now? She said I could try to find that place when we reached Washington. Okay.

The woman sitting behind me tapped my shoulder and asked if I’d like to wear her sweatshirt and scarf. She had on a jacket. I am forever grateful to her because after mentally scanning my suitcase, I accepted that it held nothing to warm a body.

As we approached Washington, the conductor announced, “If you get off this train and go upstairs, remember one thing: the train didn’t leave you; you left the train.” She repeated this many times. And so I concluded that quite a few people are left behind. There was at least a 45 minute wait in DC while the train changed from diesel to electric. The train is completely stopped, lights are off, passengers are walking on the platform, or standing inside – there’s plenty of time to do nothing during the wait. Time to leave DC.

Finally, my stop. The conductor sings as she says goodbye. And as I walk from the train to the station a tad bit hungry and a little cold, thinking that it could have been an awfully unpleasant train ride. That didn’t happen though because of a very witty conductor who never let up, and, I’ll generalize and say, the best group of fellow passengers anywhere.

There’s something about train traveling that’s soothing. I’ve noticed that passengers come on trains with their own kind of feeling, and the feeling depends on the place where they’re boarding. For instance, some people who board at Penn Station in Manhattan tend to bring into the train a rather tense energy. It’s not until they’ve settled in, loosened their clothing, taken out a laptop, magazine, book, notepad, reclined their seat to rest, or taken out a snack quickly bought that that nervous energy slowly dissipates, and they can breathe a sign of relief.

Ticket please.

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a thank you for a “simple” meal

I HOPE THANKSGIVING DAY WAS EXACTLY AS YOU ALL WANTED IT TO BE.

While recovering from a recent hospital experience, I sat one morning with a simple breakfast of Knudsen’s Concord Grape juice diluted with water; scrumptious Wheat Sandwich bread from Metropolitan Bakery in Philadelphia, toasted to perfection and spread with butter and bionatura Organic Bilberry Fruit Spread; Burlap and Bean Espresso coffee from Newtown Square, Pa made in a French Press (although a few days ago Sumi read that for health reasons a French Press and percolator are not the best way to prepare coffee. And so, a little research will begin on that).

With that simple breakfast before me, I decided to say a thorough thank you to everyone responsible for the enjoyment of this meal, – farmer, baker, supplier, retailer, and all of the employees – from land the world over. I was surprised at how many people and how much work was involved. And as I thought about the simple breakfast, the list became a very long one. Then I was reminded that it wasn’t only about the food, there was also the matter of the coffee grinder, plates, pot for boiling water, stove, toaster, utensils, glassware, tap water, and refrigerator. I truly hadn’t stopped to think about the extent of our dependency on each other until that breakfast thank you. A simple breakfast doesn’t seem so simple anymore.

On Thanksgiving Day I think the food would have gotten very cold had we all said a special thank you to everyone involved in that entire meal.

* * * * * * *
Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul. -Democritus

Simplicity should not be identified with bareness. – Felix Adler

The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity. – Ludwig Wittgenstein

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice. – Meister Eckhart

Great things are done by a series of small things brought together. – Vincent Van Gogh

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asbury park, nj

I remember the fun so many of us had at Asbury Park, NJ when it was in its prime. On many weekends a lot of people would gather in cars, – in those days there were no seat belts, no real crowding on the roads, and no one to stop the driver of a car for having too many people in it. So, off we went from Manhattan, eager to taste the ocean air, dance, walk on the sand, enjoy the merriment of the environment, visit the fun house, and feast our eyes on the sturdy and well-designed whimsical buildings beckoning to us to enjoy what was inside. Once for $3 a woman read my palm, and years later when she suddenly came to mind, I had to salute her accuracy.

Then life got very busy, and for many years I temporarily forgot about Asbury Park, NJ. And so, one day on my way to somewhere else, I passed this once delightful place that had brought so much innocent entertainment and enjoyment to so many, and thought, “What happened to you dear friend? What a haggard look you’re wearing. Doesn’t anyone love you anymore? How undignified and unnecessary for you to be left this way.”

Now recently on a visit to somewhere else, I had a chance to glimpse an Asbury Park, NJ edging toward new life. And I whispered to it, “Hooray for you, Asbury Park!” And so, once again people care, and it shows. Its boardwalk is seeing a wonderful selection of speciality restaurants, a few stands that smack of organic and nutrition, a bakery that has its customers coming back again and again, and a small seafood place next door that does the same, there are hat shops, courses in pottery and glass making, galleries, entertainment, a most creative water playground for children, – yes, all that and more. There are condos being built and people moving in, and the town is in the process of becoming what the people moving in and those opening businesses want it to be. Lots of creativity happening.

Hooray for you, Asbury Park!

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The Master Cleanse Experience… aka Lemonade Diet

Well it has been sometime since I have blogged, before the birth of our second baby, Clover Alessandra. This topic, however, has to be blogged about. I started the Master Cleanse diet this past Monday, January 29th, 2008. It is a 10 day(min) fast where you only consume liquids consisting of a lemonade concoction and then do a herbal laxative tea in the morning and evening. I completed this fast once January 2007 with my mother-in-law, Fran. 

What drove me to even consider this craziness was that I was at my wits end with the lack of weightloss from having my first baby, Sebastian. I packed on a hefty 50 lbs with him and had 40 lbs to lose after the baby. I managed to wittle away at it but by the holidays (6months) later I was still 10 lbs heavier and at a plateau. I saw the footage on Oprah about Beyonce Knowles doing the fast to lose weight for her role in “DreamGirls” I thought to myself… I can do that! So when I saw the family at Christmas I mentioned it to Fran and low and behold, she had the actual orginal book The Master Cleanser by Stanley Burroughs.   I was shocked! Apparently she had the book and had always wanted to do the fast but never got around to it.  So it was ON! We decided to start and complete the fast together beginning the new year. 

It was a really tough first few days and I almost quit so many times. It was amazing the need to chew something was what I felt and I just felt like I had the flu. Apparently these are all detox symptoms. At the end of the fast I was a pleasant 12 lbs lighter and had so much energy and umpf that I was so happy I had completed the fast no matter how tough it had been.

This is why I am here again going through the same fast. This time I had more to lose since I started at a higher starting weight. I figure it will get me going down the right path and help me restart my system. Oddly though, this time the fast has not been as arduous. It has actually been quite easy.  I was prepared for the worst on day 2 and day 3 and that never came. I am currently on day 6 and toward the end of the day at that.  One side effect I am experiencing that I also had last time is the “coldies”. You just freaking feel cold all the time. I guess the lack of solid food and also it being winter time doesn’t help. Besides that everything else, including the cravings are manageable. Last time I was obsessed with watching the Food Network and looking at cookbook recipes. Weird even though I couldn’t eat anything just looking at it made me feel better and closer to food. I am planning to go to day 10, but have been contemplating continuing on for 4 more days to make it a full 2 weeks.

I have been looking at message boards www.therawfoodsite.com which are really helpful during this time. It is always nice to know there are others going through what you are going through. With that being said, it is definitely easier to do this with someone than alone. Also I had the benefit of having this week off of work. So I will only be at work for 3 days if I complete the 10 day fast instead of the 14 day one. The worst days are also in the beginning.

So right now my sense of smell is like superhero sense of smell. I guess since I am not eating it has instensified my other senses. It’s really odd to smell everything so intensely but at the same time really great. I am also just starting to get the energy high that comes with this fast toward the end. I have also managed to mantain working out. I have gone twice now and plan to go and do a weightlifting class tomorrow.

One thing I did differently this time was I drank a lot more water in between my lemonade drinks. I think that really helped me feel so much better and I am glad I figured that out. Also having two little ones keeps me really busy and my mind off of the whole food thing. It is truly amazing how much time you have when you don’t mess with food. You have a lot of free time to read and do things you usually don’t have time for. For me though with the kids I am just spending more time with them.

So another hard thing is watching your loved ones eat in front of you. Michael has been eating pizza, chinese food, pasta, etc.  It’s tough but I just tell myself that I can’t do it and I am too close now to the end to stop this. I know once I am done I will feel like a million bucks just like last time. Also hopefully a good 15 lbs lighter. Currently I have lost 8 1/2 lbs as of this morning weigh in. It is really motivating to see that scale go down everyday! My plan after the fast is really stay away from all the bad foods and eat a more clean diet and continue my vigorous exercising… I am addicted to the working out part!

So to anyone that wants to try this diet… DO IT! Just commit and do it and I promise you will be truly amazed at how you feel and how you look! 

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emmet fox (1886-1951)

Seventeen years ago I bought a book titled The Sermon On The Mount The Key To Success In Life. A lot of years passed since I last read it. It was packed away, found, and recently read again because it’s a book with a lot of substance. The www allowed for further information about the writer of the book, Emmet Fox. He was a scientist, philosopher, and spiritual teacher who was born in Ireland, educated in England, lived and worked mostly in the United States, and died in France. His adult life was dedicated to spiritual teachings, people, traveling, and living life energetically. His books are easy to read, deeply moving, and immensely informative. He wrote with intelligence and heart.

Now with a new President of the United States on the horizon, there are two chapters of another of his books, Alter Your Life, that make for very good reading at this particular time in our history. The two chapters are: “The American Spirit – The Principles Underlying the Constitution” on page 166, and “The Historical Destiny of the United States” on page 188. If you’re thinking that you’ve studied it already, you might want to think about reading Emmet Fox’s words. Because to remember why and how the United States of America came into being, and to review the meaning of The Constitution and what took place during and after, and to connect with what our Founding Fathers were all about helps put our thoughts in order. And putting our thoughts in order is extremely important since it appears we’ve strayed far and wide from the original course.

And the rest of the book? Well, you just might want to keep reading.

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Viv

On 24 July 2007 my cousin Viv died. She was a force to reckon with. I never thought she’d be the first of my generation to die. She usually said what was on her mind, eyes looking up sideways, a slight smile at the corners of her mouth, waiting for a response after she said something that was contrary to what you were thinking, She was sharp;  she was a thinker, and she had more ideas than she knew what to do with.

I remember many stories, this is the one that comes to mind now – the year Viv died, we were in a furniture store when a song filled the room; it was a song that clutched at both of us, as we listened we noticed a nearby couch and automatically walked over to it. We sat talking about a few experiences relating to the sentiments in the song. Then, out of the blue, we began crying – heartily. Then we began laughing – just as heartily. We walked out refreshed, renewed and raring to go. I can’t remember why we were in that furniture store. Perhaps that was the reason. Therapy at its best.

There were wonderful, wacky, fun, moments; there were tense, uncomfortable, not-so-fun-moments. Though whatever was happening there was a trust, a love, a friendship that could never be dissolved.

Viv took her last breath knowing she was well-loved; she was at peace. She spent her last week at a hospice and shortly before she died, her bed was rolled into the garden where family and friends had gathered to say goodbye and give her a last hug. Wow! The energy on that day in the garden was felt by everyone. Love and peace is what it was all about.

That’s the way I want to leave this fascinating world – with love and peace surrounding me.

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john perkins, psychonavigation

Last November 2007 I bought a book at Robin’s Bookstore, the oldest independent bookstore in Philadelphia. Something coerced me into picking it up and perusing it. I had another book in hand, but found myself purchasing and walking out with THE WORLD IS AS YOU DREAM IT Teachings from the Amazon and Andes, by New York Times bestselling author of CONFESSIONS OF AN ECONOMIC HIT MAN, John Perkins. I cried as I read many of the passages, and cried even more when I read the Epilogue. If you were to read this book I think you would understand.

In an interview On Spiritual Travel, Shamanism, and Consciousness, with Dennis Hughes, Share Guide Publisher, is written: “John Perkins spent three years in the Peace Corps in Ecuador and then became a consultant to the United Nations and World Bank, then a businessman in my own right. . . .” The interviewer asked him to give a definition of shamanism, he said his favorite short definition is:

“A shaman is a man or woman who journeys to other worlds in order to obtain power, wisdom and energy from those worlds to affect change in this world. When we talk about other worlds, we can use terms like the unconscious or the subconscious – there are a lot of different terms that can be used.”

At the end of the interview he said:

“The shamans like to tell us that Mother Earth isn’t in danger, this idea of needing to save the planet is ridiculous. That human beings aren’t going to destroy the planet. But the planet may just shake us all off like a bunch of fleas. She’s giving us a lot of warnings right now. El Nino as a message is a great gift. Climate change, the fires that have swept through the Indonesian rainforest, the drought which for the first time ever has hit the Amazon, are all amazing warnings. Receding glaciers. . . and so she’s giving us a message and this is a very exciting time for human beings to live in and to react. Because we don’t want to be shaken off. Yet it really doesn’t matter a whole lot if we do get shaken off, for we know that everything shapeshifts. We never die, we never leave. Einsteinian science confirms that matter and enery never leave they just change – they shapeshift. But since we’re getting these messages from the earth, it’s an incredibly wonderful opportunity to be able to respond to the challenge.”
www.shareguide.com
www.shareguide.com/Perkins.html

John Perkins’s organization Dream Change Coalition leads trips to the Highlands of Ecuador to work with the Shuar and Quechua and he gives workshops in the USA and in Europe. On the back cover of the book is written:

…Now these shamans are turning their wisdom and power to the problem of curing a new kind of illness-that created by the industrial world’s dream of dominating and exploiting nature.
John Perkins tells the story of these remarkable shamans and of the U.S. medical doctors, psychologists, and scientists who have gone with him to learn the techniques of dream change. These shamanic teachings have sparked a revolution in modern concepts about healing, the subconscious, and the powers each of us has to alter individual and communal reality.

John has used the knowledge he gained from master shamans, around the world in his successful career as a management consultant, president of a US energy company, and as founder of the Dream Change Coalition, an organization that inspires executives to clean up pollution, reshape corporate goals, and form Earth-honoring partnerships with indigenous cultures. www.dreamchange.org
www.johnperkins.org