Category: The Power Of Words

Words are powerful. That’s why I’m wondering why doctors are at liberty, when a serious illness is diagnosed, to plant a seed in the mind of a patient as to how long s/he has to live. The mind is powerful, too, and when words of doom and gloom are uttered, they’re not easily forgotten, and can jeopardize the outcome if a patient places a lot of belief in them. The doom and gloom words stick and put a patient in a zone of sorts where thoughts of a healing are diminished.

Years ago, doctors told patients very little; I’m beginning to think that, in this case, very little is possibly better than too much. A sick person tends to become vulnerable when under a doctor’s care, all those appointments, all those tests, meetings with the doctor to discuss a course of action, perhaps a second or even a third opinion, a decision to be made about who would be the best doctor, researching treatments, decision as to the best treatment, concern of family and friends, disagreement among family when making these decisions, medication that dulls the senses leaving a patient unable to see matters clearly. For one to understand how to go about healing, and to tap into one’s own knowing, encouragement of the highest quality is needed.

It’s not the fault of the doctor that many things have gotten so out of hand; it’s the way of the world. A doctor of today is taught to practice differently from a doctor in, let’s say, the 1950’s. I don’t know when things began to change, but it seems it would benefit both sides if a middle ground were reached. It makes sense to use words that speak of possibilities, words that capture a patient’s body, mind and spirit, rather than words that give an overall sinking sensation of despair.

The mind is powerful and, words of encouragement are like a healing balm-a divine kind of medicine. Many books have been written about the mind and its power to heal the body. And people have healed from serious illnesses; If one person has that ability, it would seem that we all have it. We do have choices, but in a time of illness we are inclined to put all our trust in a doctor and forget that there’s another part of us that is there to help. Fear can get in the way when we listen to discouraging words.

From “the SECRET of INSTANTANEOUS HEALING” by Harry Douglas Smith:
In spite of emphasis on the word “new,” the healing power of the Mind has been known and used for centuries. Mind is the great physician. This truth is not new. The following quotations demonstrate its timelessness and universality:

400 B.C.: We do not cure the body with the body; we cure the body with the Mind; and if the mind is confused and upset, it cannot cure anything properly. -Plato, The Republic

300 B.C.: . . .as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. -Proverbs

Often it takes only a small emotion to furnish the primary cause for the onslaught of a cold or an attack of the flu. All the ordinarily blamed causes – cold feet, drafts, wet weather, etc. – are only secondary causes,”. . .else,” as John Caius said in 1552, “if one were sick, all should be sick.”

Do you find it fascinating the way a chance meeting can affect your day? This is one of those days.

I was walking along Main Street in a small town along the Hudson River, when I met a stranger I’d seen every so often in that town. She stopped, smiled, and began talking to me – one topic after another in a dizzying array of words. Finally I interrupted her to ask a question about a path I was on my way to explore, one I’d heard about from a local who had said that “it’s absolutely beautiful,” and that she’s been walking it since “forever.”  And now I wanted to walk that path.

The path I was looking for was along the Hudson River, and supposedy the place to start exploring it was near the train station. However, my new stranger said, “No, I wouldn’t go there. You’ve got to be really careful. Ticks are all over the place.” Well, I’m a city person, and not an expert on ticks. So, I said, “Other people walk it.” As I said that, I realized it wasn’t a good enough reason in favor of the path. And her response was, “No, “I wouldn’t. I have friends who have lyme disease.” And again she said, “There are ticks all over the place. Soon after that, we said goodbye. I decided to walk back into town.

In town I visited a small antique shop where a few weeks before I had bought two lamps. I was there only a few minutes when the owner started talking about not feeling well, that she’d gotten lyme disease 13 years ago, and it had been under control with antibiotics, “and now it’s showing its mean way again,” and she was worried. I didn’t know what to say, but it seemed tick talk was in the air.

I left the antique shop, and along the way looked in at a charming place where I’d once bought a happy Buddha, and wanted another one. As I entered I saw that the saleswoman was very busy on the phone. After a while I was beginning to think that somewhere along the line I’d become invisible. Every time I approached her, she paid no attention. Finally, she put the phone down and started talking. She said she thought she’d gotten a tick from her dog, and was finally able to get a doctor’s appointment. I didn’t say much. So distraught was she that she would have left me in the store as she hurried by. Out I go, and as I crossed a driveway, the anxious one came barreling out of a parking lot, and almost clipped me. I saw the expression on her face, and hoped she’d make it to the doctor’s in one piece.

I didn’t want to hear any more about ticks. I went to the library and got a book by P.D. James, then a coffee, and sat in the back in a lovely garden, and read.

That night I couldn’t get to sleep. I felt a slight pain running up my leg. Then I began thinking about ticks. And I thought . . . Oh no,  lyme disease? I had to have a talk with myself to put an end to that thought and to remember that. . . .

“Anxiety is the mark of spiritual insecurity.” – Thomas Merton

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.” – Madame Curie

The next time I was in the area, I walked into that charming shop and asked the owner how she was. “Fine.” she said. “No tick.” She was happy, so very happy.

 

Michael, “Did you call your Mother Today?” is priceless to me. Thank you for that beautiful gift.

He mostly talked; I mostly listened. It was a conversation with a stranger, and as you know, sometimes the most revealing conversations are with strangers. Then you say goodbye. Strangers tend to say things that are new to the ear, or, if not new, said in a different way makes it seem new. Staying not too close to home allows strangers to enter one’s life in a most curious way.

He started talking about fear. He said that word is written more frequently than ever before, at least that’s what he feels. He was afraid that a certain something was going to happen to him. He said that it controlled him, and he’s trying to not let that happen. I asked if he knew whether that word was in all languages of the world? He doesn’t know, but that it sure is prevalent in ours. At the time, I had a point in asking, but it turned out to not be as important as just letting him talk. He was deep in thought and looked straight at me when he said, what stops many of us from doing what we’d like to do is fear. Then it was time for him to leave the train. And poof, he was gone. It sure was a heavy night for him.

I watched him walk up the aisle, and, for some strange reason, thought he was the perfect person to meet tonight. He chose a subject that was immensely interesting. Now he’s gone and I ponder it. I know he’ll be just fine and that’s the way I’ll remember him.

“We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abysses belong to us, are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. . . How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.” -Rainer Maria Rilke, “Letters to a Young Poet”