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sun and rain and being busy

Some magazine articles, movies, tv programs, books, experts, DVDs, tell us we need to multitask if we want to get ahead, become successful, have the right friends, be respected, and, of course, have a lot of money in the process. We’ll be happy, we’re told, living the way of constant doing and striving. However, if we don’t question that idea, we’ll also be burdened by our fragmented thoughts, and an inability to slow down. And when an opportunity comes to have an evening of aloneness – even when the aloneness doesn’t mean lonely, just a chance to catch up with other parts of ourselves – we feel pressured to make plans. We tell ourselves that we shouldn’t be alone for an evening, a day, a weekend, – we should be out doing.

If all that busyness was working, why are there so many depressed people, people on the verge of suicide stopped only by prescription drugs, or lifted up only by prescription drugs, so many people unable to sleep, so many sick people, so many people just plain unhappy because they’re not doing what they enjoy? It’s a fair question to ask, isn’t it?

Today is a rainy day; lately there have been complaints about the rain. The sun is teasing us – it’s sunny, then it’s not. Spirits are dampened; maybe weekend plans have to be changed. But rainy days are wonderful, too. Rain has a way of slowing things. It can change a day of rushing to a more mellow one, and that means we’re less stressed. We don’t need to change our plans, just our mind set, and then getting rained on at the beach becomes fun. Staying indoors on a beautiful sunny day is a little difficult; the sun seems to say come out and play. Rain, however, says, you can go out if you want, but you can also stay in. Don’t worry, you’ll be busy, but it’ll be a different kind of busyness; you’ll be busy being still – just for a little while.

I used to feel that practicing Qi Gong with Matthew Cohen’s Fire and Water DVD was an imposition. Then there came a time when I realized the benefits were outweighing any imposition felt, and that every time I practiced, I learned something new -maybe more insight about the way of a particular movement, or of a word not heard before that brought new meaning to not only Qi Gong, but life in general. Now practicing the once difficult empty stance is a pleasure, and Qi Gong is not an imposition. The empty stance is “full of emptiness” Matthew Cohen says. And slowly an understanding that the busyness of being still – of being empty – has its own rewards.

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cell phones in public places

I can be exasperating when it comes to technology, and for me that means anything beyond a paper and pen. I know that. The truth is, I don’t care – not that I don’t care about technology, no, no, I don’t care about being exasperating sometimes. For instance, do we always have to answer the cell phone? – Perhaps no, unless it’s an important call. I feel that answering a call when you’re out with someone is a slap in the face to the someone you’re with, and also it’s an exercise in patience for anybody in a public place forced to listen. Sometimes a call is urgent. Urgent, however, means different things to different people. Cell phone users are often amusing though, and can become entertainers of sorts – the motions, facial expressions, and tone of voice, could easily be part of a comedy show. So, I’ll just say this, thanks for the laughs. And, if I’ve made you laugh when taking an “urgent” call in a public place, you’re welcome – for the entertainment 🙂

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new york open center

The New York Open Center has been in the Soho area of NYC for 25 years, and for anyone walking miles of blocks, and tending to all sorts of things in that area, the meditation room and small bookstore is a nice respite. It’ll be different now because they’re heading on up and moving to 22 East 30th Street. The Spring/Summer Programs 2009 of the New York Center’s easy-to-read, and not jammed- packed catalog, says they’re: “NEW YORK’S LEADING CENTER OF HOLISTIC LEARNING & WORLD CULTURE.” I used to consider the Center a gift to New York because when it was founded there wasn’t a whole lot of holistic anything going on in the form of classes in the NYC area.

I called the administrative office for a catalog two weeks ago, and the informative person answering the phone mentioned that she’d taken the Bollywood Dancing course. The “Bollywood Dancing course”, hmm! – I thought, that course would definitely go on the slightly stepping out of the comfort zone list.

Now with the catalog in hand and late evening descending, I got to thinking about the courses offered, and the reasons people register for them. A few could be: enjoyment, learning, wanting a challenge, accompanying someone, meeting people, meeting people having similar interests, and stepping out of a comfort zone. I peruse the catalog once more wondering: 1) which course would take me out of my comfort zone. 2) which course would be completely different from anything I’d taken before. 3) which course do I think I have no interest in pursuing, but, in pursuing it, find it wholly interesting.

There are different ways of stepping out of our comfort zone, and I wonder if registering for a class is one of them. In the past, I imagined that stepping out . . . would entail leaving who we think we are, and the things allowing us to believe in who we think we are, for an unknown experience. Now I ask, does that have to mean leaving our physical surroundings?

By now it’s impossible to think of sleeping as I’ve all these questions to answer, and I’m doing all the work since I’m the one asking and answering, and it’s getting tricky. That’s okay, along the way I’ll feign boredom and mind will leave me alone. 🙂

Have a beautiful day.

www.opencenter.org

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happy parenting day

It’s easy to believe that being a loving, caring, happy, and somewhat peaceful parent in the year 2009 has its own worst list of fears, uncertainities, anxieties, perplexities – more so than other decades. I’ve said I wouldn’t want to raise a child in today’s world. On second thought, no matter the decade it’s always been challenging and exciting, and although the techie age has somewhat replaced playing hopscotch, jumping rope, happily eating a fudgicle while doing somersaults, etc., the same value system is always there to be tapped.

There have been a lot of changes since my children went through childhood, but the time-honored way of parenting with love, intuition, common sense, soul searching, innate intelligence, observation, communication, enjoyment, trust, sense of humor, and knowing when to let go, are still alive and kicking.

My children were raised in Manhattan, and it was there that I noticed the many hair-raising ways people have of bringing up their children. Some didn’t believe in any discipline – not even a slight reprimand when it was called for, – kicking, hitting, and screaming at mom and dad were accepted; others gave their children credit cards to do whatever, to buy whatever, before their children understood the basics of life; one couple bought an apartment next door for their two children who were below high school age so that their before-children lifestyle could be continued; children were left with sitters who watched tv all day long, or regularly socialized with friends instead of being attentive to the children; there were children having easy access to their parents’ “adult toys”; parents vacationing and leaving children with less than the best; it’s a long and interesting list, and is exciting reading in a novel, but leaves food for thought in real life. I noticed also that people are remarkably resilient, and come into the world with their own strengths and talents which have the potential to take them beyond earlier misadventures.

And there were awesome parents who – most of the time – had huge amounts of enthusiasm, fun, and wisdom, and taught their children, other children, and other parents, by their example.

Being a parent means different things to different people. I guess it will always be this way. The world’s parents are not cut from the same cloth. And why would we want it any other way? Perhaps that’s what makes it all challenging, exciting, and having to stretch mind, body, and spirit.

This posting has somehow become about parents, so that’s what it will be – HAPPY PARENTNG DAY TO WOMEN AND MEN WITH CHILDREN IN THEIR CARE. Wherever you are, have a beautiful day.

* * * * *
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. – Khalil Gibran

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mentors for monday, and tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, and sunday too

“One of the greatest stresses we can endure is trying to live a life that doesn’t fit who we are. We look for some kind of mission and purpose external to ourselves to fill the void that only living in communion with the Inner Self can fulfill. And it is from this connection to the Inner Self that right relationship to the world (career) occurs.” – Jerry Thomas

“First of all, one must observe, see with great care the mind and its functioning, listen to what is within and without: Out of this arises sensitivity and in sensitivity there arises insight. That insight alone will wipe away sorrow.” – J.Krishnamurti

“All day long the thoughts that occupy your mind, your secret place as Jesus calls it, are molding your destiny for good or evil, in fact, the truth is that the whole of our life’s experience is but the outer expression of inner thought.” – From the Pen of Emmet Fox

“. . . We are where are thoughts have taken us, and we are the architects – for better or worse – of our futures.” – James Allen

“As is the human body,
so is the cosmic body.
As is the human mind,
so is the cosmic mind.
As is the mirrocosm,
so is the macrocism.
As is the atom,
so is the universe.” – The Upanishads

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
– Marcel Proust

“Do not fear mistakes. There are none.” – Miles Davis

“Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: Now.” – Denis Waitley

“. . . We have underestimated ourselves tragically. We are sadly mistaken when we see ourselves as merely temporary bodies instead of timeless spirit; as separate suffering selves instead of blissful Buddhas; as meaningless blobs of matter instead of blessed children of God.” – Roger Walsh

“Arguments gain little. The mental attitude and prayers gain much; for thoughts are things and their vibrations reach those in every sphere and walk of life as related to self and to others.”
– Edgar Cayce Reading 1438-2

“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.” – Leonardo de Vinci

“Forgive those who wrong you; join those who cut you off; do good to those who do evil to you.”
– Mohammad

“A major goal of spiritual practice is to clear our mental space of the intellectual and emotional garbage we have been collecting since childhood, and to provide space for the experience of true relaxation and enjoyment. We should realize that a positive thought or inspiration becomes nourishment for the mind, like healthy food. But negative views and passions, like waste products, have toxic effects.” – Tulku Thondup

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mark bittman

I don’t know why it took so long for me to find Mark Bittman’s excellent cookbooks and website, but it did. Now that I’ve found him, I’m not letting go. He knows how important spices and herbs are. He cooks traditionally, or not, with meats, or not; it’s hard to go wrong with his recipes. His passion for food and cooking is contagious. And I say, let it rub off on me.

Philadelphia’s Barnes & Noble on Walnut Street has a rather skimpy selection of his cookbooks. It’s that or they’re sold out quickly. And forget the library, they’re checked out, returned, and gone in a flash. At my favorite Free Library of Philadelphia www.freelibrary.org I tried reserving one of his books – the one that takes two people to carry. I waited the alloted time, no word came by phone or email. I got a very vague answer when I went to the library and inquired about the book I had reserved. Eventually, the lack of the book not being in my hands got blamed on the computer. Hmm! was my intelligent response. In any event, I have HOW TO COOK EVERYTHING VEGETARIAN. And since I’m making up for lost time, I’ve subscribed to receiving Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything emails. Oh, yes.

www.markbittman.com
www.howtocookeverything.tv.

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park slope, brooklyn

Every so often I spend time in Brooklyn because Sumi, Toshi, and Sophie are there, and Emi comes whenever she can. Park Slope is a haven for raising children in a fairly stressless environment. Big chain stores haven’t found Park Slope. Thank God! Small restaurants, friendly charming cafes, small specialty clothing shops, alongside the existing excellent restaurants and shops, are opening. I’m beginning to realize that there are a lot of creative people living in Brooklyn.

When I think of Park Slope, Brooklyn I think of “It takes a village. . .” because the support is there for families – there are many child-friendly restaurants and cafes (and they really are that), entertainment for children, bookshops, small toy stores having toys mom and dad played with, friendly, helpful neighbors, and lots of character. And it has lovely Prospect Park.

Sometimes I feel a pang of sorts for the long-time residents who are seeing an influx of Manhattanites, and people from other areas, enter their what was once a rather quiet and private Park Slope. But then the pang disappears because that’s life, and the same thing is happening in Manhattan. Only in Manhattan it takes place just about every decade.

When the subway stops at the Park Slope station, and passengers climb the steps leading to the outside world, there’s a feeling of relief to see Park Slope. The stress of Manhattan can now be shed, a deep breath can be taken, no one scrambles to rush ahead of another, or to cut in front within inches of another. Definitely it’s a life lived with thoughtfulness, and this thoughtfulness tends to trickle into many other areas.

This is not to say that people in Manhattan are not thoughtful. No. It’s just that the extremely high energy can push anyone off center if they’re not mindful of the ease at which this can happen. I will always keep my love affair with Manhattan intact. It’s similar to any love affair though – there are always changes one would like to make, if one only could.

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acceptance

Acceptance is a good word, and a soothing word; it’s a word that’s effective when used verbally or silently. When applying acceptance to a particular situation, we’re inclined to wonder whether we’ve done enough, and whether it’s time to  stop guessing, thinking, worrying, trying. Yes, stop so that the mind is free of the energy we’ve created around a situation or person, and free of blockages – hands off; it’s time to trust.

Becoming comfortable with acceptance allows the mind arguments and blockages to eventually disapper. Practicing acceptance will lead us to intuitively know what’s best in a situation. Then we trust. Acceptance and trust go hand in hand. We know that things are not okay at the moment, and we trust the tide will turn. Trust.

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tv news as we know it

The 11 pm news came on as I was involved in light paper work. On and on it went about disease, murder, verbal and physical attacks, and vandalism. Keeping abreast of happenings in the world is important, but it’s also important that the news be presented in an unbiased way; that it educate, not disturb; and that the day’s developments not be about sensationalism and stress. If when we watch the news as it’s being presented year after year, and determine that it has enlightened many, and somehow contributed to positive changes, we’d have to agree that the news is worthy of air time. Mostly, however, it seems to bring fear and tension to the lives of viewers. Thankfully, there’s always the off switch. Whew! Peace restored.

Now there are people who have their own tv or radio talk shows whose main purpose is to project anger at, or deride most anyone with views contrary to theirs. Are they necessary? Can’t we think for ourselves? Why listen to them? At one time I tuned in when a certain person began his radio career, then I began thinking that it was all very unpleasant, and stopped. Last year as I got into a taxi, I heard once again the voice of that particular radio personality. Nothing changed; he’s still unpleasant.

The only reprieve on the night I listened to some of the news was the voice of a 90 year old woman being questioned. An arsonist’s hand was at work on the street where she lives causing tragedy. Listening to her was easy though. Her hair was wrapped in rollers, her posture was ramrod straight, there were no tears in her eyes, and her voice was strong as she spoke about the damage to neighbors’ homes. She said she was prepared to vacate her place – just in case. She was on the screen for only a short time, but somehow her presence was a breath of fresh air. I can only guess where her strength comes from.

We know there are great things occurring throughout the world. And should the news become more than what it now is viewers listening would feel more relaxed and grateful to be living in a fascinating world, and perhaps more clarity about issues would result. A mingling of the positive and the negative is important. By this is not meant stories of “celebrities” – their clothes, relationships, marriages, divorces, lifestyles. No. No. Positive news are stories of people going beyond the everyday to a place often read about, and achieved by just a few – although many can join. There’s a whole lot of beauty in the world, and a great many wonderful people. One day should the news media begin to report more expansively on this, the mass consciousness of the world would change. And that can only be a very good thing for all of us. Otherwise, if we’re focused on the worst of things, how will we ever get to the best of things?

We are what we think
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world. – the Buddha

It is well known that emotions of the soul affect the body and
produce great, significant and wide-ranging changes in the
state of health. Emotions of the soul should be watched
regularly examined, and kept well balanced. – Maimonides, twelfth-century Jewish sage

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a happy birthday

When I reached the age of 40, I decided 40 was a good number for me, so 40 I stayed – in my mind. It dawned on me this past weekend, however, that I have to move on up because in three years my son will be 40. Now I’m forced to wonder, where does that leave me? Actually, it was all in jest, the truth is if I were granted an opportunity to go back in time, or continue as I am, I’d say forget going back, moving forward suits me just fine.

This past Saturday was my birthday and Michael, Sumi, Emi, Toshi, Alicia, Sebastian, Sophie, and Clover – the order in which they came into my life – arrived in Philadelphia to celebrate with me. I find it impossible to express the happiness I felt at having us all together; it was a grand feeling, and a beautiful and fun weekend.

Was the weekend busy? Was it hectic? Yes, wonderfully so. There were three little ones under age three. Did we drink champagne? Did we thoroughly relish eating the scrumptious chocolate birthday cake from The Chocolate Room in Brooklyn? Hmm, let me think about that one. . . .

The pink roses laid on top of the refrigerator at Windsor Suites because even though the rooms were spacious, things are arranged differently when some guests are under the age of three. We were informal, we are usually informal, so no one cared that at the table someone was either getting up or sitting down.

I received the perfect gifts, and besides enjoying their physical forms, I see in them their own stories of strength, beauty, charm, love, tranquility, creativity, thoughtfulness, solidity, caring, and wisdom.

A birthday can be significant – depending on the birthday person. At this time in my life, when another year is added to it, I feel stronger, richer, and more able to understand where I want to direct my energies. While I’m alive I intend to use my Life Force in a way that contributes to helping our earth, and also to understanding the connection we all have to each other, and to all of nature. How will that happen? I ask that question in silence just about every day, and I’m beginning to discover a place within myself that’s well-able to answer questions when I allow it. Allowing is to make room in the day for quiet time. And I now believe that to not allow is to flounder.

So, I say happy birthday to me, and happy birthday to you – may we embrace whatever age we are, and wherever we are in life, and in pure delight may we all continue to move on up from there.

* * * * * *
“It’s foolish how we rush through life and cry that time is on the wing. We’re living in eternity, and time is just a clockmade thing.” -R. McCann

“Too often people set their lives by the calendar. It takes all the fun out of life.” -John Glenn, After His Latest Shuttle Mission

“Learn to see, and then you’ll know there is no end to the new worlds of our vision.” -Carlos Castaneda