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the storyteller

Still she thinks of herself as a poor black girl living in the south before blacks and whites mingled. I say this because her past is always with her as those times seem to be more real than present day life. Since I’ve known her it’s been that way. Some things run real deep. She’s a good storyteller, and when I look at her I can vividly imagine that little girl back then in Arkansas. The stories she tells of that time will make you laugh, though some will bring a sense of acute sadness. My childhood was in New England and those stories never reached me.

I like her style of cooking. I think it’s changed just a little from her mother’s way. She makes corn bread every week, eats the greens of the south (gave up frying, but makes every attempt to recapture that taste by vigorous sauteeing). Her mother once took her and three of her siblings on a trip north to visit family, and she talks about seeing, for the first time in her young life, whites and blacks together. You feel in the telling of this that every fiber of her body relives the shock.

She didn’t marry a black man and didn’t stay in the south. She owns a nice three-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, has a big loving heart and, has what could be called, a good life. The value of money that was instilled then holds true now. Money or no money, she’s solidly frugal. I feel that keeping those stories alive is important because many people still haven’t grasped the enormity of what happened if you were black and living in the deep south at that time. From listening to her stories, a new understanding was very gently pounded into my head during my stay with her this year. Any new insight has the potential to shed new light on other areas of life. I thank her for that and for the loving person she’s become in spite of it all.

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waiting

Waiting can be a good thing, if we let it. I’ve read that when we’re waiting, we should simply be where we are, and not be anxious; that we should train ourselves to be in present time and observe the happenings around us, and not think of where we want to be, or the slowness of the line, or wanting to complain.

Recently I was uptown waiting for someone. No book or magazine in hand- nothing to dilute the moment- simply waiting and observing. A bus pulled up. People were standing inside the bus, and those who’d been at the stop got on and found a place in the bus. The bus was now crowded. But people were still waving their arms, running toward the bus, while carrying stuffed grocery bags, or heavy backpacks on their shoulders. Everyone who wanted to be on the bus was now on and off it went. As soon as it left, another bus came along; it was going in the same direction. The three passengers sitting in that bus looked quite comfortable. A mental note to self: before thinking of boarding a crowded bus, look around.

I’ve noticed lately that similar scenes happen in cafes and restaurants. A person walks into a favorite place for lunch. It looks so busy – really hopping – and s/he thinks there’s no way of getting a table. A few minutes later customers get up. leave, and suddenly there’s a choice as to where to sit. And the one wanting a table rushed out in a flash, looking for another place to have lunch. Ah, the rhythm of life. From observing and waiting a different way of doing things emerges.

“Dare yourself to “play games” with your day: watch, wait, listen; allow things to happen.” -Rolf Potts www.rolfpotts.com

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red light winter

There are people in our lives who think they know what’s best for us (we do the same, but that’s another story). Sometimes these people don’t listen to us, but are ready with advice. We can often let that advice go because it’s our inner sense we want to learn to listen to. It will tell us things we need to know. Things about ourselves that are not based on analyzing or guesswork. We ask questions; we listen and trust, and begin to realize that there’s another way-so many other ways-to be in this world. Our relationship with our inner sense will run deep and be authentic the more we rely on it and trust it. When we get very clear on this the fun begins because we don’t have to live in a small world designed by others. We can learn to hear the whisperings of our own heart.

Once upon a time, I didn’t know which fork in the road to take. I picked up my small plant and brought it into the bathroom with me. The two of us sat on the floor and I talked (it’s okay to laugh; I’m laughing too). I told the plant everything that was on my mind and in my heart. And it listened. And slowly I became clear about certain things. My plant was the right vehicle to begin the trust with my inner sense. We find the right vehicle when we’re ready to try a new way, and possibly not before.

“Our remedies in ourselves do lie which we ascribe to heaven.” -Shakespeare

“The more faithfully you listen to the voice within, the better you will hear what is sounding outside. Only he who listens can speak.” -Dag Hammarskjold

Why did I start thinking about this? I saw a play last Saturday called Red Light Winter at the Barrow Street Theatre at Greenwich House in Manhattan www.newyorktheatreguide.com/offbroadwayTheatres/greenwichhouse.htm . Adam Rapp is the playwright/director. I thought it was engrossing. Actors are amazing. If I were any one of those three actors in that play I’d be totally wiped out in a week’s time. I heard that the New York Times didn’t give it a glowing review. It’s freeing though to not criticize the playwright and the actors and enjoy it for pure entertainment. The desperate situation of three people and their apparent inability to change anything in their lives is an interesting story. In the real world that’s the way it is for many of us; it’s a common thread, and translates into entertainment in a play.

It would have been interesting to hover about and listen to the comments of the people as we trailed out of the small theatre. There was lots of chatter, but I was unable to zero in on any specific conversation, except to hear one person say he had expected a different ending. I’m not sure why I thought that a strange comment. I mean, the playwright decides the ending. Why should it be different? Comments like that are fun to listen to as long as you can hover long enough to hear the full conversation. Ah, why did he expect the ending to be different? I’ll never know. Perhaps it’s just as well I couldn’t hear other comments. Because not only would I be thinking of the play; I’d also think about the comments, and that could get rather confusing.

I’ll say nothing more except that watching Red Light Winter made me see how easy it is to feel lost sometimes, and when that happens the bigger picture slips into the background. A relationship with our inner self can prevent this from happening.

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laughing with cyndi

Cyndi is from British Columbia and I met her in Boquete, Panama in the dining room at Marilos Pension. She was game for anything. One morning Cyndi and I were in the town center walking by the street where buses depart for the city of David. It’s about a half -hour car ride, or an hour bus ride, from Boquete to David. From there you can get a plane or bus to Panama City. As we passed a bus leaving for David, two people were waiting by the side of the bus, and when it left they began waving and blowing kisses toward the bus. Cyndi said, “You’ll never catch me doing that. They look so silly.”

About three weeks later, Cyndi and I accompanied a fun-loving couple to the bus stop from the pension. We had lunched and laughed with them often, and they were leaving. When the bus they were on departed Cyndi and I began waving and blowing kisses toward the bus. I looked at Cyndi and she began laughing and couldn’t stop. Cyndi returned eventually to British Columbia after traveling around South America. Just for a short stay. She’s now once again in Japan teaching English, having fun going on auditions, and, I’m sure, keeping people laughing.

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lester levenson, a story

Because it’s December, and December is quite unlike any other month, I’m choosing one good thing to focus on just to keep a sense of balance. Love happens to be one of those good things. It makes our hearts sing. I’m choosing more love for our world.

This past summer after meeting my daughter, Sumi, for lunch, I decided to go to Gotham Book Mart & Gallery, Inc. located at 16 East 46th Street in Manhattan. It’s a place where you can find books not found in larger book stores. As I was browsing in one of my favorite sections, a book fell from the shelf above. Since it found its way to me, I glanced at it. It’s a story about a man named Lester Levenson www.lesterlevenson.org. who was the founder of the Sedona Method www.sedonamethod.com . If you’re looking for something to read this month, don’t hesitate to choose this one. I did. It’s called “Choose Freedom” and the author is Virginia Lloyd. It begins with Lester’s family and his early life, and tells how, in one of his most desperate periods, he manages to turn his life around in, well I suppose you can say, “the twinkling of an eye” How he did it is fascinating to read.

Lester, while in the depths of despair, starts to question his entire life. And in asking questions relevant to his life, he discovers startling answers. We read how he begins to untangle his thoughts about his past and present and comes to an understanding about one of the great powers and mysteries of the universe- love. It’s a story of a life; it’s a wonderful story – a story for December.

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when an eating establishment changes

There’s an eating establishment in Manhattan that has managed to keep its identity no matter what changes the times dictate. This is not always the case. Many places have forever closed their doors after major renovations. Successful, well-loved and cherished eating establishments went down the tubes because someone at the helm thought they needed to keep up with the times. And the essence was lost; that intangible something that kept customers coming back again and again.

Changes seem to happen more in Manhattan than any other city. It’s a city of change. It’s not bad; it’s not good. It just is. And New Yorkers learn to get used to this way. When changes were made to Veselka Coffee Shop www.veselka.com , located on 9th Street and Second Avenue, long-time customers were not happy. However, that intangible quality that makes Velselka what it is, wasn’t lost with those changes, and the regular customers returned along with lots of new ones. Maybe it’s the energy that keeps a business going; and if it’s lost with the changes it can’t be recaptured, and the doors have to close forever. Sometimes the energy shifts and the newly-renovated business takes on a different personality. When that happens the business has an entirely new feel to old customers, and they’ll either stay or find another place that embodies the feel of the old one. It’s just good to know what the spirit of the business is before implementing change.

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I read . . .

I watched a little of the Ellen Degeneres show the other day, and was taken aback when a woman wrote to the show explaining and laughing about the gifts her in-laws have given her and her family throughout the years. I didn’t quite understand why she was making that public, her in-laws are alive and kicking and must feel a little odd with the public airing, (unless there was an agreement beforehand to get some laughs on TV), though it didn’t seem that way.

That got me thinking about giving gifts because sometimes it’s tricky. If you don’t show the right reaction immediately upon receiving the gift, it’s all down hill from there. They’ll be lots of questions coming your way. Or if you do show the right reaction, but the thank you is delayed, well, . . . Then there are the givers who want to know exactly how their gift is being used. They just need to know because they usually put much time, effort and thought into buying it. And yes, there’s always the money too.

A while ago I read that once you give a gift, let it go. What happens to the gift after you give it, and this was bluntly said, is none of your business. You did your part. Let it go. As far as the receiver is concerned, the gift should be happily and gratefully accepted, always, no matter what the gift. What you do with the gift after that is your business. To me that makes the most sense.

We can all relax. It’s all so easy.

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those east broadway buses

On Thanksgiving Day my daughter, Emi, and I boarded an Apex bus scheduled to leave at 1:30 pm at East Broadway – at 2:15 we still hadn’t left, and none of us knew the reason, including the driver. Finally a Chinese employee entered the bus, and when someone asked what happened to our 1:30 departure, she said, “1:30? No problem. We leave 2:30.” And off she went.

At 2:30 we were told to change buses; a more patient group you haven’t met. Bags came down from the racks, coats, and reading materials were collected and we all walked across Division Street to another bus. The reason for the delay seemed to be . . . a secret, no answers to questions were forthcoming. At 3pm we departed; it was a smooth ride to Baltimore. The Baltimore Travel Plaza was the destination for a few of us. When we arrived there the bus stopped by the roadside to let us off and quickly left. It was cold and windy and no shelter was in sight

I tried to confirm our return by phone, but couldn’t get any information, so we went with the time given when I bought the tickets in New York. We stopped by the same cold, windy, isolated roadside and waited for the bus. A bus was waiting but it wasn’t Apex. The driver motioned for us to get on. We did, presented our tickets, and were told Apex bus had left and we needed to pay an extra $20 each. A nearby passenger chimed in to say that he had the same ticket and paid the $20. We said, No thank you, we would wait for the Apex bus, and that it couldn’t have left, we still had time. The passenger who paid asked for the return of his $20 and got off the bus with us. Three Chinese bus employees followed us off the bus. There was a mini conference. My daughter’s ticket and the other passenger’s ticket were reexamined and they asked to see mine. I don’t know what new information was extracted in those few seconds, but we were told to get back on the bus at no additional price. We three looked at each other and boarded the bus again.

In the town of Delaware the driver stopped for more passengers, and as we started to drive away we all heard a banging noise underneath the bus. We left and could hear the driver speaking Chinese on the phone. He stopped the bus three times and went outside to try to repair the problem. All to no avail. Very slowly we inched our way along the highway keeping closely to the right. When we got to NJ we were told another bus would be coming. We waited 45 minutes for the bus. Again we were an unusually patient group. The bus came. We collected our possessions and boarded  another bus. The rest of the trip went smoothly. And I suppose that was all to be expected because when you pay $35.00 for a round trip bus ride from Manhattan to Baltimore you take your chances. But, then again, if Fung Wah can do it right, why not the others?

******* ******* ******* ******* ******* ******* *******

“The man who is truly good and wise will bear with dignity whatever fortune sends and will always make the best of his circumstances.” -Aristotle

“. . . The trick to being a good adventurer, of course, is to take all such surprises in stride. Good people keep walking whatever happens, taught the Buddha. “They do not speak vain words and are the same in good fortune and bad.” – Vagabonding by Rolf Potts
www.rolfpotts.com

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happy thanksgiving everyone

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE –

We all have our own reasons for being grateful. But there are times when we simply want to flee the holidays. Times when they’re overwhelming. When we don’t want to eat turkey or see those people or have to talk or laugh. Times when we want to be somewhere else. Times when we’re the first ones in the turkey line. Times when we can’t decide what to get for dessert, or how to cook the potatoes. Times when we get six different kinds of dessert and prepare six different dishes of potatoes. Times when we want to take care of people who need real caring. But, However we feel about the holidays, we can always start with a thank you from the heart and see where it takes us.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

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our world

Have you noticed that when thoughts of the November and December holidays begin to take form a good portion of our life revolves around those months. If not, physically then certainly mentally and emotionally, and then physically as we fall into the the commercial part in the form of buying which has become, or shall we say, taken over, the holidays. Of course, preparation can mean anything – depending on your lifestyle.

With all that’s happening in the world lately I think the joy of the holidays will have a special meaning. I’ve often read that underneath the chaos there’s order. If we can get pass all the tragedies, we can see the beauty that’s also unfolding. The love that goes out to those who need it in the form of money, food, housing, compassion and prayers is wonderfully alive.

I read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda www.yogananda-srf.org quite a few years ago. There was food for thought in that book. I’m thinking of one paragraph now. It said that all the violence, negativity, greed, etc. affects the universe. Whatever is in the consciousness of all of us is felt by the intelligent universe. If we want order we need to stop the craziness because only a loving world will produce a loving environment. We’re producing chaos when we contaminate our world. I think about that book often and wonder about those words. He’s not the first or the last to write about this cause and effect applying to the mass consciousness.

“The deeper the self-realization of a man, the more he influences the whole universe by his subtle spiritual vibrations, and the less he himself is affected by the phenomenal flux.” – Swami Sri Yukteswar

“We are reborn each day-indeed each moment-and we begin afresh with the possibility of new perfection in every breath we draw.” -Rabbi David A. Cooper

“The modern world is desacrilized, that is why it is in a crisis. The modern person must rediscover a deeper source of his own spiritual life.” -C. G. Jung

“The more materialistic science becomes, the more angels shall I paint.” -Edward Burne-Jones

“There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment.” -Anais Nin