It seems that it’s always a shock when a young person dies. I find a person of any age who dies leaves a wonderment. When Heath Ledger died this week at 28 – it doesn’t really matter how – he was here and now he’s not, it was a shock to many people.
Robert Pirsig is the author of ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE. In the Introduction to his book he wrote about the death of his son who was two weeks away from his 23rd birthday when he was murdered in San Francisco in 1979. He wrote about how he dealt with his son’s death. He said that over and over and over he asked the question “Where did he go?” and then he realized that before that question could be answered “What is the ‘he’ that is gone?” must be asked. He asked until finally something answered him.
Although it seems we don’t come into the world with a promise that we’ll be here for any particular amount of time, in our western culture we’re still struck dumb, so to speak, when death happens. Many of the books I read have a way of reminding the reader that death is a part of life and life is a part of death. And they do this in an exquisite way, and the reader becomes comfortable with the idea of death. In many cultures throughout the world people have an understanding that life and death go hand in hand. When Sumi and Toshi visited Bali they got caught up in a street funeral. There was singing and dancing in a happy funeral parade and they were invited to join. If that’s the attitude about death, there are no surprises when it happens.
I’ve been at their bedside when people I love have died. Some died in peace and joy and some struggled til the end. Peace and joy is a choice and watching someone die this way feels right.
‘Impermanence is the universal law.’ – from Swami Bashkarananda to Alexandra David-Neel
“Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.” – Grace Hansen
“If I knew I were going to die tomorrow, I’d think, so soon? Still, if a man has spent his life doing what he wanted to do, he ought to be able to say goodbye without regrets.” – Paul Bowles
“It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.” – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross