The reason I’m thinking of forgiveness is that I spent a lovely afternoon with a new friend. She easily moved from one topic of conversation to the next. Conversation was light and fun until the beginning of early evening. Then she began talking about her sister. The unhappy marriage she’s in has caused a rift in the sisters’ relationship. It was once close, now it’s pretty much non-existent . Her sister can’t seem to get out of her own way, she said. Bitterness over a bad marriage is ruining her life.
After listening to the story I asked the question I feel anyone would have asked, “Why doesn’t she leave?” she answered, “She can’t. She’s afraid of losing everything.” Well, what can be said about that kind of response? Some people would have walked away at the first whisperings of unfaithfulness, others would have given it their all until their all was depleted. Living with bitterness year after year, and probably lots of other stuff arising from this lifestyle, is not living. But it’s a choice she made. Although she probably doesn’t see it that way. And the other sister is hurting too watching her sister’s pain. Those involved are no longer alive. So, maybe now it’s time for a change of attitude.
Of course, we couldn’t leave the subject alone after discussing it to this extent. My new friend thought her sister could at least try for a happy life since she’s made a decision to stay. However, she said there’s no way she could ever forgive him. Well, I can’t imagine how life is for those two living together under those circumstances. But, “To each his own.”
So, I got to thinking about the power of forgiveness. It’s a hard thing to do. But when you get to a place where you’re hemmed in and life is so painful, what else is there to do? I once heard a wise lecturer tell his audience, “If you can’t find a good enough reason to forgive, do it for yourself.”
It seems to come down to this for us:
“He who cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” -Corrie Ten Boom
and this:
“I will not permit any man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him”-Booker T. Washington
and this:
“If you are suffering from a bad man’s injustice, forgive him, lest there be two bad men.” – Augustine
and this:
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” -Bernard Meltzer
and this:
“Forgiveness is impossible in human consciousness, but very possible and manageable in spiritual consciousness.” – Eric Butterworth